Smothered By My Own Pain

10425281-sad-woman[1] By

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It is a mere feeling.


Yet heavy with grief,

It is me this pain is killing.


My joy is deprived,

Laughter may never arrive,

Nights spent staring at the ceiling.


Insistent memories suffocate,

My depth I am yet to locate,

Dangling and lost, I may just

Be doomed to do its bidding.


Opportunities lost.

I can’t help but pay the cost;

Feeling so suppressed,

My countenance a mirror of burdens expressed;

These dark feelings are misleading.


In dark moments of solitude,

Seeking solace in rectitude,

Cold creeping fear,

Grips my lonely heart,

Till it is so hard to bear,

And reality brings to the fore the cards I’m dealing.


Now, in searching for my soul,

Tears become rain;

I am a prisoner to my pain,

Which touch not in parts, but the whole.

Even as time fleets away, I ponder and say,

Is there a remedy for this feeling?

For I’ve finally lost faith in my healing.



This poem was inspired by the sight of suffering people – men, women and children – in rural, impoverished regions. It is such a sad, sodden and sick environment, where hope for the future is no longer a factor. Daily survival is all that matters. I hope this piece touched a chord in you.


Warm regards.


Ndifreke Efiok Akpan.



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